There was a boy in my class who once gave me a piece of paper with his name and mine on a heart. I tore it up because I was embarrassed. He was the class clown and once was responsible for pushing my foot under a swing that caused a me a minor sprain. But there were no hard feelings. Valentines Day in Class 6 I knew something was up, the others were pointing and stating my every move as I approached my desk, there was something there. I was already embarrassed as I wasn’t used to this kind of attention. I opened my desk and saw a card. I reacted instantly, tore it up and threw it in the dustbin. I burst into tears and ran out of the classroom. It was stupid. I hated him for putting me through this. But I never thought it then, how did he feel about it?
The story was legendary. Every Valentines Day after that I was reminded of it by my peers. In fact, 5 years later, this boy had a girlfriend in school who made him apologize to me for putting me through this every year. I appreciated it but never fully got over it. It’s silly the things that affect us so much. As we grow up we realize how pointless it was. I often think about how it may have affected the boy when he realized I didn’t have the same feelings towards him.
But then after a few years I behaved in a way the boy had. Or at least I think I did. I went for a colony friends school play and fell “in love” with the main lead. I mean I had only seen this guy in a play. I had no idea who he was or what he’s like. I guess that’s what you call star struck. Soon after I tried to find out as much about him as I could, through my friends school magazines and write ups. He was charming, head boy, orator, actor, all round perfect. At least in my head. Thanks to the internet and common friends I managed to get a hold of his chat ID and added him. When he accepted my invite I was thrilled. I started chatting with him on, saying I had added him by mistake but somehow due to common connections we continued to chat occasionally. I joined a quiz team that was visiting his school so I got the opportunity to meet him. He visited my school for a debate and a small friendship developed, or at least I thought it did. He once invited me for a birthday party. I was on top of the world. I went all dressed up. But sadly, I was one of many friends lost in the crowd. I overlooked it, and when my birthday party arrived, he didn’t.
That was the end of that. I was a heart broken teenager. Maybe I embarrassed him, I did kind of stalk him, but at the time I thought he was special. I’m sure he went on the achieve great things in life. We never stayed in touch. I did look for him on Facebook many years later but didn’t add him ‘by mistake’ or otherwise.