The Affair

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I was going on a month long shoot with an all male crew to travel the country. A dream project of sorts. There were two directors – me and him. He had a lot of work experience and I was supposed to report back on his performance and then see if he can continue the shoot on his own. My first impression was he’s lazy, didn’t show up for meetings and he was disorganized. But what the hell? I was going to travel the country and this really didn’t matter.

At this time I was not engaged but in a long distance relationship which was going well. My partner was happy for me and the fact that I was getting to travel like this. And we were off. Everything was going well but then the shoot hit a few roadblocks. This was beyond both our control so we asked to continue shooting together backing each other up when needed.

We reached the mountains and he began to open up. He had no inhibitions and a great sense of humor that kept the entire crew in good spirits. One night it was just to two of us talking, it lasted for hours. I told him about my life and he told me about his. He was a playboy and I was the nice girl. He was charming and mischievous and I was too simple. There was a weird connection that neither of us understood. But the very next day there was an instant pull towards each other. We were working together but wanted to spend all free time together as well. I don’t know whether it was being away from my boyfriend or just the new feeling and thrill that I went with the flow. We wanted to pursue that we knew we couldn’t have. He held my hand secretly in the car and I didn’t push it away. He hugged me tight one afternoon and I didn’t want him to pull back. This was just physical attraction. Right?

One evening we kissed. I felt very guilty. He knew about my relationship but I guess we were both of the mindset that after the project is over we won’t be seeing each other. One kiss lead to much more. The high you get when you do something wrong or risky is something I cannot explain. But despite the guilt you do it. This was a secret. No one was going to know.

But after the project ended it was difficult to stay apart. We always wanted to talk and spend time together. Now I was getting stressed. It was when I decided to move away. He was upset but knew this was going to happen one day. We moved apart but there were withdrawal symptoms. We missed spending time together but would talk when we could. I was missing the intimacy in my current relationship and looking for it in this affair. I didn’t want that. I tried very hard to make my relationship work but depression was getting to me. My relationship was supposed to be solid and this was just a fling, right? But things were going in the opposite direction. I didn’t know why.

The relationship ended because of other reasons and I wasn’t ready to start a new one. But then I found a friend. He helped me get out of my depression. He helped me develop my confidence. He helped me get back my voice and start working. He was there he had no reason to be there but he was. Given his past, he could have avoided me altogether he had got what he wanted at the time, but yet he was here now to support me. Why? We felt we were connected somehow. This wasn’t a fling anymore.

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With time, the relationship blossomed. We were both surprised. Neither of us expected that this would happen. A one time secret fling had turned into something much better. We spoke about how it was a weird connection that lead to a secret, that lead to a friendship and then to a relationship.I think this is love. It’s unexpected.

Everyone we meet in our lives is there for a purpose. To teach you something to help you grow. Nobody is a mistake.

Together we have grown. We have had our bad times and good times. He has been patient with my inexpressive ways and I with his craziness at times. I’ve seen him when he’s weak and when he’s strong. He’s seen me happy and sad. We travelled together, we’ve laughed and cried together and I think it’s time that we’re going to be partners for life.

As humans we’re bound to make bad choices, we’re bound to succumb to guilty pleasures but it’s the understanding we share as to individuals that keeps us going. I found an unlikely friend who turned out to be much more. I’m sure life will throw many more challenges at us. But it is how we overcome them that will prove the strength of this bond.